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"What's the best thing about today?"

One thing that I love about church is that no matter what, even if the message doesn't resonate as strongly as previous messages have, I always take something away. Today was no exception. Pastor Thom is away doing a wedding in Southern California, so Pastor Kevin delivered today's message. He made a good point today about there being a difference between being "happy" and being "joyful." Happiness is inconsistent and situational, whereas joyfulness is secure and permanent. Not to downgrade the idea of being "happy," but given that happiness is fleeting, I would rather spend more time in becoming joyful. One of the most wonderful things about having a working, loving relationship with God is that you can have joy- even in times of grief or distress- because you know that in the end, there is an eternal home for you that is greater than anything we can imagine. And that's just awesome!

I'd like to share more, but as it turns out Uptown Espresso is frigid and I'm a-goin' home. Perhaps I'll add on once I get in front of the fireplace? We'll see. 

Recently Mark Penn (Hillary's chief political strategist) told reporters: “Winning Democratic primaries is not a qualification or a sign of who can win the general election. If it were, every nominee would win because every nominee wins Democratic primaries.” This comment has stirred some pretty lively discussion on one of my favorite political blogs, Talking Points Memo. Foolishly, I offered $5.00 to the first person who could correctly identify Penn's logical fallacy, and was quickly overwhelmed with a flurry of well-composed responses arguing fallacies ranging from False Dichotomy to the "Fallacy of the Overpaid and Inept Sophist." The latter is my favorite, so I'll just post it right here:

I don't know how many Iowans will ever see this, but that's not the point. I just want to express my appreciation to everyone that leaves the warm comfort of their homes today to go out and caucus for Obama. Being from California, I never really have to put myself in physical discomfort to work for our campaign, and being that it's quite literally 3 degrees in Iowa, I consider myself to be very fortunate. So, once again, thank you so much for going out of your way to stand for change- y'all should feel really good about the work you're doing. Give yourselves a pat on the back and a warm mug of hot chocolate! :)

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

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I was attempting to take a pre-evening-out nap, but I was restless, and I realized that's because I hadn't been here much. (How senseless is that?) So, here I am, once again assuring you all that I am indeed still alive.

What's funny about journaling is how negative everything is. I mean, the reason I'm not here much is because life is great right now, and when life is great, who sits down in front of their computer to "write it out of their system?" Good times keep me out of the house and in the company of friends, which is pretty much what I've been up to. Despite some uncertain and unsettling experiences from the past week or so, this is the happiest I've been in a very long time.

I know it doesn't mean much when I say "this is the happiest I've been in a very long time," if I don't explain why, exactly, I'm so happy, but honestly, I don't have the energy. I'm exhausted, and I desperately want to take a nap before I go line-dancing with my friends tonight. (Like in Gone With the Wind when all of the ladies nap after lunch so they're fresh for the evenings festivities.) I will say that, no, it has nothing to do with boys...or rather, I'm not happy because I'm seeing some mystery boy or something. In fact, I'm happy because I'm not really dating anyone and instead I'm focusing on developing my (brace yourself for the sickeningly-sweet cliché) relationship with God. This is the most "full" I've felt in any relationship, and certainly the best I've felt spiritually. As if that's not enough, my relationships with my girlfriends are flourishing and that's just the best. I'm looking at moving in with one of my girlfriends, and that's super exciting! Oh, and I got an AMAZING job for a pretty major television outlet, but I'm hesitant to discuss the details until the ink dries. Or rather, until we end our negotiations on Monday. More on that soon enough.

So. I'm really tired and I have to be ready in an hour. Half-hour nap, here I come!

This past weekend, despite my still being sick, was the best that I've had in a very long time. Also, and this seems to be a recurring theme, it was one of the least productive weekends I've had in a very long time.

On Friday night I went out to sushi with some of my work-mates, and following that we met another group of friends downtown for drinks and general debauchery. A very dear friend of mine hasn't yet turned 21, but the nice part about going for drinks at a restaurant is that under-21s can still attend, they just can't drink. If she weren't there, the night wouldn't have been nearly as fun. In fact, it would have been unbearable. Now, I know I said that this weekend was the best that I've had recently, so the statement that my Friday night would have been unbearable without the company of my girlfriend might be a little confusing. I suppose it would be more accurate to say that this past weekend was the best I've had recently because of the company of my girlfriend. A lot of things happened that would have made me disappointed or sad, but having her around made it all so much better. This is a really new concept for me.

I, like many women, don't have many girlfriends, I think I have two, with an occasional third. Anyway, that's bothered me for a very long time. Women are women's best resource of comfort and understanding, simply because we're all going through the same things. Sure, the details are different for each of us, but the fundamental problems that we're dealing with are strikingly similar. The majority of us are dealing with the same issues when we take the time to get to the heart of the matter. Unfortunately, negative-competition and insecurity wraps each girl/woman into her own little cocoon, the result being an entire population of women that are totally disconnected from each other. When I think of all of the wisdom and life-experience that I'm missing out on my not having a close network of women-friends, it makes me really sad. So, I'm really glad that I'm beginning to develop those kinds of relationships in my life, and I'm really grateful to know some really cool chicks to hang out with!

Saturday was a blast because one of my best-friends was in town for the weekend. I hadn't seen him in ages but hanging out was just like old times. We spent Saturday afternoon walking around downtown, did some window-shopping, and later in the afternoon we were joined by another old friend of mine. It was so nice, hanging out with the two of them again. Later in the evening we met my two girlfriends for dinner, along with another recently-made guy friend of mine- six of us all together. We ate at this cute little italian place called Mama's Meatball, I just love the food there. Simple and well done, which seems to be a difficult achievement for most small-restaurants.

After dinner we all came back to my place and tried unsuccessfully to play a six-person round of the game Life. We have the attention-spans of seven year olds, I swear. Everyone was marrying everyone, salaries were being debated, and in the end, no one won. (Heh. Kinda sounds like real-life sometimes.) As the evening wore on, one of my girlfriends departed, as well as one of my guy-friends, leaving myself, my girlfriend and my two guy-friends that I spent Saturday afternoon with. It was a giant sleep over, and it was a lot of fun.

Sunday morning was spent with my girlfriend, which was lovely, and then we both headed into work. After work I caught the movie Eastern Promises with above-mentioned new-guy-friend (NGF?). That movie is not for the faint of heart. It was really well done, and I enjoyed it, but yeah...really gross sometimes.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell. I left out the disappointed/sad bits, and also the dramatic bits, because really, does that stuff have a place on a public forum? I think it's enough to say, once again, that I'm grateful to have a great girlfriend to share in those experiences with me and offer her take on things, as well as her support. You're fab!

So, here we are on Monday. Still sick. I'm seriously considering ignoring how wretched I feel and just chugging along as if nothing is the matter. I mean, I have to get better sometime, right?

Here's to hoping that you all had lovely weekends full of good friends! :)

So I was sick all last week with I don't know what, and I did a decent job at resting and taking care of myself and all of that. Then I felt almost-better for two or three days, so I decided to jump back into my normal routine because I had already spent ten days being totally ineffective. Well, looks like I jumped back in too soon, because I feel just like I felt when I first got sick last Monday: body-achy, sore throat and generally exhausted. At this point the whole feeling-like-ish thing isn't really an issue- I'm a trooper, I can handle a little discomfort- but the whole spending-time-"resting" thing drives me absolutely bananas. The whole point of resting is that you're not supposed to do anything, and wouldn't that drive anyone mad? Don't be surprised if I overdose and the autopsy reveals copious amounts of vitamin c in my bloodstream. I think I need a hug.

Oh, and this morning I went to flush a spider down the toilet, and as soon as I depressed the little lever, blue-colored water began streaming out of the toilet and all over my bathroom floor, coming dangerously close to the carpet. If it weren't for my cat-like reflexes the carpet under the threshold of my bathroom would be dunzo. I left a message for my apartment manager, so hopefully I'll have a fully-functional ladies' room by the close of tomorrow. My question to you is this: where do I relieve myself in the meantime? Bear in mind that I have never really met any of my neighbors. Good thing I have to work first thing in the morning because we have a fantastic ladies' room there!

To end things on a happier note, that book that I'm reading is just perfect. It's really everything I've needed to hear for a long time, and I've decided that as soon as I'm finished with it, I'm going to put together a women's book group to discuss it. That is, as soon as I'm well enough to be in the company of friends without fear of infecting everyone. *sigh* I feel like a leper, and don't nobody want to give a leper a hug. So much for ending things "on a happier note."

Hope all of you are just fabulous (and without wee-beasties making you sick)!

Okay, so in my defense I've tried posting three times and each time I clicked "save," the page refreshed and everything I had written was lost. This time I'm typing this into Text Edit and copy/pasting it over here. Pffft.

The past few weeks have been super. Well, not including the crappy things that have happened, the past few weeks have been super. I've been really active, which is great, but my hyperactivity lead to my falling super-ill. I'm guessing I got sick because I wasn't sleeping much, and, like, every social gathering involved wine or martinis. Alcohol + no sleep = The Black Death.

Anyhoo, I feel almost 100% again, which is exciting enough for me to be happy. Aside from my health being in good form, my student group for the Obama campaign is taking shape nicely, which makes me very happy. On top of that, I'm doing well in my classes, which is always cause for celebration.

The best part, though, of the past few weeks is the fact that I'm slowly (and for the first time of my life) creating a close network of girlfriends. I can't properly explain to you how great it feels to have girlfriends that you can talk to about whatever is going on in your life. The feedback is great, and simply knowing that you're not alone in your conundrums is totally comforting.

I started a new book a few days ago, it's called Captivating and it's by John and Stasi Eldredge. In a nutshell it's about the fundamental desires that women have in their romantic relationships, and why women of all ages are partial to certain kinds of stories/behaviors. Captivating is the women's version of the men's book Wild at Heart, written by the same authors. After I finish Captivating I plan on reading Wild at Heart, because, heck, a little insight into the minds of men couldn't hurt.

I've done a lot of thinking lately about what romantic relationships mean to me, and what it is that I would define as my "ideal." What's startling is that the ideal image that I came up with is pretty different than what I assumed I wanted for the better part of my young-adult life. On the other side of all of that romantic-soul-searching I've come to realize that I'm more of a catch than I give myself credit for, and that I don't tend to hold my romantic-prospects to the same standards as myself. Scary thought! Needless to say, I intend on staying single for awhile. As long as it takes, really, for me to have a more clear understanding of what it is, exactly, that I'm looking for. I can't believe that a little over a year ago I was looking forward to being engaged.

On a deeper note, this past year has been such a time of growth and change for me. I feel as if I have a little better understanding of who I am and what I stand for (no doubt that too will change). Seriously, I feel like this past year has been a sort of emotional-adolescence that I'm only just coming out of. I like now-me much better than the me from a year ago, and that's always a good sign, right? Here's hoping that I'm still on the up-and-up...

Melissa